In this crazy busy time of planning a wedding, we sometimes forget the importance of simply being with the person we love. It can be easy to neglect the connection that brought you together in the first place, especially when your mind is so full of everything else. However, you are not alone, as many couples feel this sort of tension during the planning process. But why do weddings tend to start so many fights? Well, the most common reason is money. 1 in 5 couples spend more than $30, 000 on their wedding, so it’s really no surprise that what’s in the bank can often become the source of more than a few arguments. Money is not the sole agitator though; brides often speak about fighting spurred by family involvement, religion, past arguments, and the other parties (A.K.A. bachelor and bachelorette parties). This is perfectly understandable! These are problems that CAN be solved, and that every married couple has faced together – and there are many ways to help get past issues like these. When planning a wedding it is so important not to forget to spend time with our partners, to reconnect, de-stress, and just fill up our love-buckets!
So now this brings about the question, “How can my partner and I manage all this stress?”. Well there are a TON of options for you! Psychologists discussing the keys to a healthy and happy relationship say that step one is to acknowledge your relationship and to continue to work on it. Your relationship is like a garden, and so it must be tended! You have to spend time together in order to grow as a couple, but you also have to recognize the importance of personal space. Remember that this is a life-long commitment, and so it’s vital to be honest with each other, and speak your mind clearly and rationally, without jumping to conclusions. Allow your partner to see that you are hearing them, and that you respect their voice. This is what step two is all about, communication! Working through these problems as a team is the best way to handle them in the long run, and you’ll both be glad to have talked it out. However, together sometimes, you will have to accept that some problems just can’t be solved, and that the best way to deal with this is to accept your differences. Torn between red velvet and classic vanilla for the cake? Make each tier a different flavour! Can’t agree on a honeymoon destination? Talk it out to find something you BOTH want out of your honeymoon, and figure where you can best achieve that! See these problems as challenges that make your relationship stronger in the end.
The solution we really want to address here today, however, is the importance of snuggling! How does this relate to wedding planning stress? Well, cuddles are a quick, simple, and most importantly an effective way to ease the wedding tension between you and your fiancé. We affect each other energetically, both with touch and without it, and a loving touch is incredibly powerful and soothing. Just a hug from your partner can bring comfort, joy, and calm you down. Did you know that touch is the very first sense that we develop, and as we age, our sense of touch is one of our last to fade? As humans we feel things everyday – every second of everyday – and this can affect us in many ways. A positive touch can, 1. Increase oxytocin, which helps us feel connected to the world around us, and makes our bodies feel great, 2. Decrease cortisol, a stress hormone the decreases productivity and induces anxiety, and 3. Trigger dopamine, a pleasure hormone. This is all a part of one single positive touch, so just imagine what 15 minutes of cuddling can do for you!
What’s our suggestion? One of the ways that my husband and I connected before the wedding was to put on a movie or a baseball game and snuggle up together. It was a favourite time for us to just be. Turn the lights down low – maybe even light the fireplace if have one or just light a few candles because its all about the mood. Put on some comfy clothes and grab a cozy blanket (or a few!), and settle in together to watch a movie or listen to whatever music you like! We recommend IMDB’s list of “Romantic Comedies/ Dramas that are Worth Watching”, which contains titles like Pretty Woman, A Walk to Remember, Life as we Know it, The Princess Bride and many, MANY more (here’s a link to get you started http://www. imdb.com/list/ls058377339/ ).
Remember that snuggling is more than just being with the one you love, but also about creating a positive connection that fosters a happy relationship consistently. But, just one time won’t do the trick! Earlier we talked about tending to your relationship like a garden, and the same goes here too! Make sure you’re making time to bond and just be with your fiancé throughout the wedding planning time, the two of you will experience together the business and stress, but more importantly together you will grow from it and grow stronger roots as a couple.