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In this crazy busy time of planning a wedding, we sometimes forget the importance of simply being with the person we love. It can be easy to neglect the connection that brought you together in the first place, especially when your mind is so full of everything else. However, you are not alone, as many couples feel this sort of tension during the planning process. But why do weddings tend to start so many fights? Well, the most common reason is money. 1 in 5 couples spend more than $30, 000 on their wedding, so it’s really no surprise that what’s in the bank can often become the source of more than a few arguments. Money is not the sole agitator though; brides often speak about fighting spurred by family involvement, religion, past arguments, and the other parties (A.K.A. bachelor and bachelorette parties). This is perfectly understandable! These are problems that CAN be solved, and that every married couple has faced together – and there are many ways to help get past issues like these. When planning a wedding it is so important not to forget to spend time with our partners, to reconnect, de-stress, and just fill up our love-buckets!

So now this brings about the question, “How can my partner and I manage all this stress?”. Well there are a TON of options for you! Psychologists discussing the keys to a healthy and happy relationship say that step one is to acknowledge your relationship and to continue to work on it. Your relationship is like a garden, and so it must be tended! You have to spend time together in order to grow as a couple, but you also have to recognize the importance of personal space. Remember that this is a life-long commitment, and so it’s vital to be honest with each other, and speak your mind clearly and rationally, without jumping to conclusions. Allow your partner to see that you are hearing them, and that you respect their voice. This is what step two is all about, communication! Working through these problems as a team is the best way to handle them in the long run, and you’ll both be glad to have talked it out. However, together sometimes, you will have to accept that some problems just can’t be solved, and that the best way to deal with this is to accept your differences. Torn between red velvet and classic vanilla for the cake? Make each tier a different flavour! Can’t agree on a honeymoon destination? Talk it out to find something you BOTH want out of your honeymoon, and figure where you can best achieve that! See these problems as challenges that make your relationship stronger in the end.

The solution we really want to address here today, however, is the importance of snuggling! How does this relate to wedding planning stress? Well, cuddles are a quick, simple, and most importantly an effective way to ease the wedding tension between you and your fiancé. We affect each other energetically, both with touch and without it, and a loving touch is incredibly powerful and soothing. Just a hug from your partner can bring comfort, joy, and calm you down. Did you know that touch is the very first sense that we develop, and as we age, our sense of touch is one of our last to fade? As humans we feel things everyday – every second of everyday – and this can affect us in many ways. A positive touch can, 1. Increase oxytocin, which helps us feel connected to the world around us, and makes our bodies feel great, 2. Decrease cortisol, a stress hormone the decreases productivity and induces anxiety, and 3. Trigger dopamine, a pleasure hormone. This is all a part of one single positive touch, so just imagine what 15 minutes of cuddling can do for you!

What’s our suggestion? One of the ways that my husband and I connected before the wedding was to put on a movie or a baseball game and snuggle up together. It was a favourite time for us to just be. Turn the lights down low – maybe even light the fireplace if have one or just light a few candles because its all about the mood. Put on some comfy clothes and grab a cozy blanket (or a few!), and settle in together to watch a movie or listen to whatever music you like! We recommend IMDB’s list of “Romantic Comedies/ Dramas that are Worth Watching”, which contains titles like Pretty Woman, A Walk to Remember, Life as we Know it, The Princess Bride and many, MANY more (here’s a link to get you started http://www. imdb.com/list/ls058377339/ ).

Remember that snuggling is more than just being with the one you love, but also about creating a positive connection that fosters a happy relationship consistently. But, just one time won’t do the trick! Earlier we talked about tending to your relationship like a garden, and the same goes here too! Make sure you’re making time to bond and just be with your fiancé throughout the wedding planning time, the two of you will experience together the business and stress, but more importantly together you will grow from it and grow stronger roots as a couple.

We are all about self-worth, self-love and the plea to recognise where you are at so you can step into the light of your incredible, radiant beauty as a woman.

Let’s be really honest right from the start.

Are you someone who puts everyone’s needs ahead of your own?

Are you often seen as motherly, maternal, or extremely thoughtful?

These are extremely wonderful qualities, please recognize that.

In my experience however, these qualities are often (not always, but often) found in individuals whose own self-worth might be lower. And much of the time, these individuals don’t even recognize this issue.

I know this because I was this person for most of my life.

I can relate to going above and beyond for everyone else, all of the time. I can relate to putting my own needs at the absolute bottom of the totem pole and I always disguised this as my desire to love, care for, help and serve others.

These qualities are all necessary in life and great qualities to have, and I am grateful to be a person who cares deeply for others, but I have come to truly realize that my own worth and self-care doesn’t have to come at the expense of other’s needs. I need to love myself as well. Just as you do.

Can you relate to this?

Perhaps if you have never stopped to reflect on this point, you may be feeling some resistance to this opinion. That is ok. It may or may not apply to you. It may apply to someone you know, and is simply my opinion and experience. However, I have seen this on countless occasions. Sit with this thought for a while and reflect for yourself on the following:

> Am I making breakfast, lunch, dinner for everyone else around me, and often forgetting to feed myself? Or choosing less then quality options because ‘those options’ are for others whose health is worth more than mine/more important than mine?

> Am I overscheduled, overbooked, running myself ragged with the thought that ‘everyone needs me’, when in reality I could be of more service if I chose a few less things and took better care of myself?

>Am I taking care of my own physical needs as I should or are things like showering, eating, grooming, physical activity, time for relaxation etc taking a back seat because I am so busy serving and helping others?

> Do I feel I am worthy of personal time so I can rejuvenate?

> Is my health and physical wellbeing worth investing in with time, energy and money? Or am I not worth those things?

How do these questions make you feel?

What I have come to realize is that I am worthy of everything I desire, just as you are.

I am worth taking care of because I want to lead a long and healthy life. I am worth feeling healthy, happy and vibrant, because when I am in this state I am truly a better person in all aspects of my life and can be of real service to others.

All too often I hear women say that they are unsure or uncomfortable spending money or time on health or wellness related experiences (like gym memberships, running club fees, yoga classes) or health products, when they have no problem spending the money on other areas that do not relate to their self-care, which in my opinion is directly linked to their level of self-worth and self-love and a huge red flag.

I always think, isn’t that interesting. If only she knew she was worth it. If only she knew that taking care of herself in all manners of wellness is a greater gift then all of the gifts she can give to those around her. Because we all know that when we are feeling good in mind, body and spirit we can share that optimal self with those around us.

But for some reason we have been taught to second guess our own worth. I don’t know when this happens.

I just know that when individuals realize that they are worth investing time, energy and money in, the benefits are astronomical and the growth is extraordinary.

This ties greatly into improving the loving relationship you have with yourself. It is a factor in why the RHB program was created.

I wanted to encourage all brides-to-be to consider, reflect on, remember and embrace their need for self-love. It is my sincere belief that when we truly love ourselves and can be at peace with who we are more and more, we can really love those around us, we can be a Radiant Wife! When we stop comparing and criticizing ourselves (skills taught to us every single day through media), we can be more loving to ourselves and in turn more loving to those around us.

Our level of self-love is directly linked to our level of self-worth in my opinion. The challenge is to help individuals to realize that these two areas are in need of constant practice. We must care for ourselves like we care for others. Our talents of service, must not only be for others.

Some might feel as though this feels awkward. It will be at first as you transition to a place of greater self-love and self-worth. Some might feel as though I am encouraging you to be self-centred. This is not my intention. It is my sincere belief that a person can have great self-love and understand their own self-worth deeply, without becoming focused only on themselves. It is the opposite in fact.

I believe a person who is happy and content with themselves, showing greater self-love through personal care and personal time has more space, time and love in their life to give to others because they aren’t wasting their time worrying about what others think (as often) and are not caught up in the comparison game (as often). This is a process of practice.

Where is your level of self-love today? Where is your level of self-worth?

Can these be improved? In this program, we dive into some amazing reflection exercises to help you strengthen these areas.

Step up for yourself today, because you are worthy. We all are.

Sending you radiant love and health,

As a bride-to-be there are a million details to consider right? Are you feeling overwhelmed yet?

Take a deep breath and know that it is going to be an amazing day. In fact, put on a song, have a dance party and let off some steam. Do you know how I know it will be amazing?

I know because you are marrying the person you love and when that day actually arrives all that matters is the two of you. I know because I have been in your shoes and let me tell you, (as a former event planner) I was a hard core planner. I am very detail oriented and organized so much that the minister made a joke about it during the ceremony (which thankfully was caught on video because it reminds me every time I watch it that I am a detailed kinda girl).

What I am not really is a music gal. I love my classical music from my days as a ballet dancer and I love to move and groove to all of the latest hits on the radio…but please do not ask me the names of the artists or songs (except Katy Perry – I love her). That is not my strength, passion or area of expertise. I am not the “phone a friend’ person for this topic. But who I am is a person moved by a well written song. A song that connects with my heart.

Of course for the big day we had organised the song for our first dance and the dance for me with my Dad and my hubby with his mom. I also had songs organized for each of the wedding party couples as they entered to go to the head table. Detailed right? Most people do this now-a-days.

What I didn’t plan, that still moves me to my core is the music that was playing in the limo ride that my bridesmaids and I took from my home town (1 hour away) from where we were getting married. Its funny how that music is one of the few things I remember from that very busy, very chaotic and most amazing day.

I can still feel the excitement and the emotions I was feeling as we drove closer and closer to the church and the song that came on was “I’ve Had The Time of My Life” (from Dirty Dancing). The rush of emotions (I’m a crier) as all of the gals and I sang this song together and I just kept thinking… “I’m getting married, I have to remember this moment, This is amazing” over and over and over. It was a moment when I was surrounded by some of the most important people in my life and I was about to take one of the biggest steps I would ever take. What a rush.

Every time that song plays now, almost 9 years later I am overcome with emotion. I am back in that dress, in that limo, with those gals, seeing the buildings on Weber St rush past as the church came into view.

Sometimes the unplanned and unexpected moments, like this one for me has a huge impact. If I had known that song was coming on, I am not sure it would have been as powerful for me. To this day I am not sure if it was one of my gals or the limo driver who had that amazing playlist. What I do know is that when the big day arrives I encourage you to just live it. Just take it in and breath every moment.

When it came to picking out our wedding song, because neither of us were big into music, we didn’t really put a ton of thought into it. My hubby suggested a song that was popular in the few months leading up to the wedding and I thought it was cute, fun, romantic and not too long. We didn’t really have any deep connection to it, but now when I hear it, I crank it up and tell our kids multiple times how we danced around the dance floor, me in my princess dress and daddy looking all spiffy and I re-live that moment as well.

For a girl who isn’t really big into music, it’s interesting that what reminds me of one of the biggest days of my life is the music. So this is my advice to you brides-to-be who are stressing and freaking over the details. Enjoy it. Try really hard to enjoy it. Because the wedding day will fly by and many of the details that may be causing you a lot of stress now will be things that no one remembers – even you!!

So how does music add value on your big day? If it isn’t obvious by now, it’s because it evokes emotion. It brings back those powerful feelings and memories. Just as tasting a piece of cake might trigger a memory for some, hearing those songs I mentioned takes me right back to 2008. Right now you are at the beginning of your life as a wife. You are walking closer and closer to the alter. But trust me when I say that, days months and weeks will pass after your big day and the thought of the wedding will come more and more sporadically as life takes new turns. Music adds value for your big day because it triggers that memory so vividly that you get to re-live it any time that song plays.

So why I am I sharing this with you, when I am here to support you in feeling absolutely radiant and healthy for the big day and beyond? It’s because managing your stress now is important for your health and vitality. Providing you with perspective that what you will remember are the feelings you will experience throughout the day. Those feelings will be triggered by things like songs, places (where you got photos taken perhaps), or even the ONE wedding photo hanging in your house. It is a big day, an important day, but do yourself a favour and enjoy the journey, dance like everyone is watching and sing like you are the star of the show – because you are!